I owe my home an apology. I was a little harsh in my post yesterday regarding the house. Some people probably read it and thought "why would they buy this house if she doesn't even like it." Here's the thing. I'm a perfectionist. I'm not an ingrate. There is definitely a difference.
I wake everyday thankful for everything I have in my life. My beautiful family, a giant roof over my head, our health, our extended family and many friends. I am thankful my husband's job affords me the ability to stay home with our kids right now. I am thankful we have two cars that work, I can get out of the house every now and then to have dinner with someone I love, or I can go spend $100 at Target on diapers, wipes, formula and a bottle of nail polish.
The flaw in this is that I am also a perfectionist when it comes to anything I can myself improve upon. Whether its a sewing project, a home project, or my own exercise regime (or lack thereof right now). If it isn't what I see as perfect in my head, I might throw a critical word or two at it. This doesn't mean that I don't appreciate my talents, my home, or my health. I just think there is always room for improvement.
It was brought to my attention though that this way of thinking could lead our kids to believe that what we have here is not good enough. And that is honestly the very last thing I would want to happen. I want my kids to grow up knowing they are cared for in the best way possible and never have to compare what they have to others. I know this is a pipe dream because my kids are not going to have everything, I don't want them to. So they will naturally probably compare themselves at some point to the kids that are given everything their hearts' desire. But if I lead by example in showing them that what they do have is not only plenty, it is also a gift, they will hopefully build a stronger character.
So what this is all meant to say is that I love our home because we are building a family here. The color of my wood floors, although hideous, is just something that maybe I'll get to change one day. Its not something that stops me from appreciating this place. We bought this house because it felt right to both John and I. We moved in and we started to create projects, that's the kind of people we are. The way I describe the projects needs to be taken with a grain of salt. The fact that I see things and want to improve upon them is, in my mind, really just a form of me showing my love for the place. After all, you don't spend hundreds of hours of sweat and money on something that you don't really love.
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