SAHM vs Working Mom

So like most people I did not know what "SAHM" meant until it became my occupation.  For 5 months now I am a Stay at Home Mom.  Prior to bedrest (which was a glorious 9 weeks of worry, constant contractions, Sex and the City reruns, a boatload of HGTV and any kind of food I could get my hands on) I was a "working mom."

Now that I am home with the kids, I've come to discover that I have a problem with these two terms.  "Working mom" isn't bad until you face it up against "Stay at home mom."  "Working mom" makes the term "Stay at home mom" seem like a sugary piece of holiday pie that we all want a piece of.  Sure, in the 13 years I worked in an office, I always dreamed of the day I had kids and could afford to stay home with them.  I was part of the misconception.  The misconception being that SAH mom's don't work very hard.  Shoot they don't even deserve the word "work" in their title.

I call Bullshit.  This is the hardest job in the world.  Well maybe not the world.  But it's certainly the hardest thing I've ever done.  I am just one opinion, and my situation isn't particularly the norm.  That being said, I would never judge a stay at home mom of one or two children, no matter the child's age or disposition, and assume that my job is harder than theirs.  Being at home with small babies or children is A LOT of work.  Different kind of work, different kind of brain power, but easily the most work I've done in years.

I also have to take into consideration that I never worked particularly hard.  I had my days, and I definitely pride myself on being extremely efficient, so I think sometimes I made certain things look easy.  I always managed to get my work done in a timely manner and get out the door at a very reasonable hour and get my baby home from daycare in enough time to make dinner or help with dinner.  However, I never really went above and beyond in my work.  I was not motivated enough for that.  Part of the reason is I think I was not working in the right field, I was not inspired by my jobs.  I was also never particularly challenged in my jobs.  And in my mind challenges produce.  Not being challenged produces apathy. And lastly, I wanted to get home to my family and my new baby girl.  After all, I was still a mom and had responsibilities at home.

This job leaves no room for apathy.  It is impossible to shut your brain off.  I find myself staring into space a moment or two during the week, mostly when the boys are napping and I am outside with Lilli and she is playing on her own (which is SO rare).  These moments I consider sleeping with my eyes open, this is not boredom.  This is me getting lost for a minute, taking a rest, only to come back to the world because my child has covered her own face in sidewalk chalk.  And I'm back in the game.

So I am taking it upon myself to change the phrase "Stay at home mom".  It irks me, and I will not label myself as such.  I am too brain fried right now to relabel myself, but believe me, I will think about this until I find something perfect and all of you who agree with me can join my club.